How to Make a Narcissist Miserable 14 Things They Hate 2022

How to Make a Narcissist Miserable

How to Make a Narcissist Miserable 14 Things They Hate 2022

He is seductive, interested in you, complements you constantly. Theoretically ideal. Theoretically, because this manipulator knows how to act, so that is how you perceive it. Narcissus, because we are talking about it, will take away your energy over time, making you feel useless. 

Since a narcissist can only love himself, we suggest how to avoid his charm.Advertisement.What is worth emphasizing at the beginning is that a narcissist is not someone we usually call it, which we think is an overconfident person. Narcissism (narcissistic personality) in a precise sense is a personality disorder.

So it means self-love, but it has little to do with self-acceptance, transformed today by all cases. Narcissus is convinced of his uniqueness, he considers himself better than others, which is why he is characterized by an arrogant attitude towards his surroundings and a lack of empathy.

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A relationship with such a person can be traumatic. Such a man will not allow his partner to be satisfied with himself. She will not let him spread his wings, because the narcissus is the “star”. So it can humiliate, torpedo ideas, downplay achievements, use it to implement its assumptions. 

How to Make a Narcissist Miserable 14 Things They Hate 2022

The point is that he should feel good. However, it is not so easy to get out of such a relationship, because the narcissist knows how to bond the other person to himself. It is not, however, about love. I need her because she needs adoration. So let’s find out who you are dealing with in advance, so as not to fall into these snares. And the beginnings, it turns out, can confuse a narcissist’s victim

LOVE YOU – how to make a narcissist miserable

Narcissus knows how to tie a partner to himself, knows how to make the object of his interest look at him as he sees himself … With adoration. So at first, you may collide with what some call “love bombing”.At every step, she repeats how wonderful you are, how beautiful, how intelligent you are. He will use every moment to compliment you. Its purpose is to create a certain effect, namely the feeling that only in his company do you feel so good.

 Time spent with a narcissist is meant to be synonymous with a good mood. He wants to make you dependent on himself.Advertisement1It is for this reason that the narcissist will target people with low self-esteem. It is easier to manipulate them because such admiration will be a plaster on their complexes.

HAS NEVER FEELED THIS BEFORE – how to make a narcissist miserable

“I’ve never felt anything like this”, “We are made for each other”, “I’m falling in love with you so much” … Narcissus will also choose his words to convince the other person that meeting them was something of a destiny. It will not take long for him to make assurances of certainty about this relationship or declarations about the common future. You just have to fall in love with him quickly, and the feeling you give him is to be deep. The relationship will become serious very quickly.

YOU ARE CONTINUOUS CONTACT

SMS, phone calls, red-hot Messenger, very frequent meetings. Narcissus wants to be in constant contact with his “victim” at first. He wants to take her time to miss other relationships. Her energy is to focus solely on him. But she does it in such a way that it does not come to her mind that this is isolation. She will feel it is simply her choice, even though family and friends may already be doubting it. Such a life “just for two” will make the narcissist’s partner associate that the only person who shows closeness to her is the narcissist.

YOU CAN EASILY INJECT HIM – how to make a narcissist miserable

This seduction-oriented spell, however, can quickly fade away, as the narcissist doesn’t know what self-criticism is. So even a small thing can offend him. He does not accept comments and is easily offended because all the flaws certainly do not apply to him. Such a blow (in his opinion) may be such a detriment to him that he will most likely break off relations with someone who dared to undermine his perfection.

TEN IS ARGANICAL TO OTHERS – how to make a narcissist miserable

Keep your eyes peeled as it can also happen that while he’s charming you, he’s just arrogant with others. He believes he has the right to do so because he is better. It may be laced with jealousy about what others have, who they are and what they achieve.

MAKE YOU FEEL WORSE – how to make a narcissist miserable

Once the narcissist is convinced that he has achieved his goal and you are already his, he can move on to the next stage. The man who cares about you this way will slowly cut your wings, making you think worse and worse of yourself. However, he will control the situation in such a way that the “victim” will believe that these are only her thoughts. 

Moreover, she will feel that a relationship with a narcissist, such a wonderful man, is the best thing that could have happened to her and that she owes him a lot.Advertisement.In the palette of emotions that he will try to evoke, there will be, among others, guilt (the narcissist is never guilty), shame, self-doubt. The latter is so that the narcissist’s partner relies rather on the judgments of the loved one, thinking that her opinions are not right.

DrozwińThe the longer the relationship lasts, the more the narcissist uses more and more tools, taking manipulation to the next level. The victim becomes vulnerable thinking that he is unable to function without him, which the narcissist tries to emphasize, “What would you do without me?” It will also blame it for its failures.

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How to Make a Narcissist Miserable 14 Things They Hate 2022

Someone who has a relationship with a narcissist, and is convinced of his uniqueness, will try to deserve this love, will try to be perfect for him. The feeling that he is unable to achieve it can make it quite the opposite – such a person will feel that he or she is hopeless and useless.

Did you read chapter 1 of this article? We recently entered the world of people with narcissistic syndrome, revealing details about their complex personalities and behaviour. In this second chapter, we will delve into their sentimental relationships and their dynamics with their closest beings (family, colleagues, partner), in the characteristics that will tell us if we are closely relating to someone like that and what to do in that case. 

Stages of a romantic relationship with a narcissist – how to make a narcissist miserable

When we start a romantic relationship, it is because we want a deep bond with someone. After all, we need to give and receive love, affection, beauty, company in our lives. Well, narcissists do it for totally different reasons. They feel an insatiable emptiness inside, and the only way to temporarily silence it is by filling it with the love and admiration of others.

According to Karpman’s dramatic triangle, which applies to dysfunctional relationships, there are three roles: the Victim, the Persecutor, and the Savior. In the case of narcissists, there are two versions of the triangle: one, the real one, and another, the narcissist’s version. 

How to Make a Narcissist Miserable 14 Things They Hate 2022

In his version, the narcissist sees himself as a Victim, the person he is already abusing – that is, his “old” supply – appears as the Persecutor, and his new “supply” – that is, his new prospective partner -, is shown as Salvador. But in reality, the narcissist is the Persecutor, his new “supply” is his accomplice, and his “old supply” is the Victim.

At the beginning of the relationship with a narcissist, when you are the “new supply” or supposed Savior, you are probably assisting the narcissist in harming the Victim. At that point, the supposed Savior is treated as if he were a hero or an angel, and the Victim is that unpleasant person who no longer appreciates the narcissist. The “new supply” is the answer to the problems of the narcissist, as it once was, the one who is now Victim. And the cycle repeats. Here is a curious image to understand the dynamics:

Therefore, relationships with narcissists follow a very defined circuit, consisting of a three- stage pattern :

1. Over-evaluation or Idealization: at this stage, the narcissist chooses his target very carefully. In general, they choose their victims because they have something that they are interested in possessing, be it socially, economically and even physically, to validate their ego. At this stage, everything is wonderful. The narcissist seeks to show everything that the other wants from a partner. They are overly affectionate, loving, and attentive at this stage. 

They bombard their victim with love and praise. They put them on a pedestal, and they worship him. The narcissist is full of dreams and hopes, which he shares with his partner very frequently. At this point, the victim believes that the narcissist is his soul mate, and they cannot believe their luck … of course, because the narcissist has dedicated himself to imitating everything that his victim has told him that he dreams of a person. This phase can last from a few weeks or months to just over a year. But then that’s when things change.

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2. Devaluation: this is when the narcissist shows his true personality. You feel confident that you have the unconditional love of the other, and you can now “make yourself comfortable.” Little by little, the attention begins to diminish. The narcissist walks away. He becomes moody, withdrawn, quiet.

What has happened is that the narcissist gets bored very easily. And after the excitement of the first stage, he begins to wonder if he was correct in choosing his victim. Stop answering calls and messages, break your promises, and punish your partner for bothering you. And as the other person tries to make the relationship work again, he drifts further and further away. The inner emptiness has returned, and if it has returned, it is that your partner was not so special after all.

How to Make a Narcissist Miserable 14 Things They Hate 2022

You begin to project your emotional turmoil on your partner. He begins to blame her for his shortcomings. However, a narcissist will never abandon a source of emotional “supplies” for his ego until he has a safe alternative. So he starts with his manipulation techniques: triangulation, devaluation, and gaslighting, which we will see in-depth later.

Life for the victim becomes unbearable: the narcissist changes his mind violently, accuses him of things he has not done, and maybe in a loving and conciliatory moment, and then explode with rage. She does not know what to expect and is manipulated over and over again. Many times he begins to lose his sense of reality and begins to have difficulty distinguishing the good from the bad, his limits from those of other people, etc.

At this point, the narcissist will either be looking for another victim to start the cycle again, or the abused person will get bored and will flee to lose himself or herself from such a difficult and conflictive person.

3. Discard: It is a terrible name, but that is exactly what happens. The narcissist, without any remorse, ends the relationship because the other person has stopped “serving” him. What happens to you or what your ex-partner feels, matters very little to you. This phase is caused by the narcissist, and it can be slow and painful, or fast and aggressive, and will be coloured by the manipulation that the narcissist does, inducing reactions, feelings and actions so that the relationship finally breaks down.

Very important: the “no contact” rule – how to make a narcissist miserable

If you have survived a relationship with a narcissist, either by running away or after being abandoned, it is extremely important to adhere to the “no contact” rule to avoid further damage. A narcissist will seek his supply of emotional arousal wherever he is, so as long as one allows it, he will try to manipulate us. Therefore, it is important to cut all communication, liquidate any business one has, change the phone number and email, and get rid of everything that reminds us of the person. If the narcissist is looking for us, we must ignore him. This rule is very important because otherwise, one is exposed to being damaged again. Remember that you are dealing with a person who has a very harmful disorder.

Go ahead – how to make a narcissist miserable

It is very painful to recover from such a relationship. Psychiatric Dr Sam Vaknin recommends first accepting what has happened. That the relationship was not what we believed, and that we were deeply wrong. After that, grief comes, and forgiveness and learning from this traumatic experience must be worked on. It is necessary to have the support of family and friends, and ideally, have the help of a therapist, to facilitate this painful process. Because one is damaged in their self-esteem, in their perception of reality, and in the ability to establish healthy relationships.

Am I the victim of a narcissist? – how to make a narcissist miserable

Some symptoms can reveal to us if we are victims of a narcissist.

1. We doubt ourselves. Do you notice that you doubt much more than before you met him? When we are victims of a narcissist, we generally seek very often to verify that we have not been wrong, or that we have not misheard something, much more than before. This is because the narcissist tries to blame his victim for things that he did not even say or do, thus obtaining his emotional “supply.”

2. Confusion. Because they don’t know interpersonal boundaries, they force this on others as well. We suddenly feel guilty for what others did, said, or felt. Even more so when they use a terrible technique called “gaslighting” on us, which we will mention a little later (patience, dear readers). In this way, little by little the victim becomes more and more dependent on the narcissist, to determine his sense of the real.

3. We believe we are going crazy. A narcissist projects his disorders on us. That is, if he is a pathological liar, he will accuse us of lying, if he feels that he is going crazy, he accuses us of going crazy, etc. Since it relies on the trust we have in it, abusing, it will try to convince us of what it says, which can generate a significant deterioration in our self-confidence.

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How to Make a Narcissist Miserable & Make Them Burn with …

4. Unexplained symptoms. We no longer feel “ourselves”. Without knowing why we are losing motivation. It is not known what happens, but we realize that it is something serious. It is narcissistic abuse. And here there is room for a large number of symptoms that, separately, one would not know what to attribute to, but that is generally related to the symptoms of having suffered a trauma: places and words are avoided, there is loss of interest and motivation, problems to eat or sleep, nightmares, irritability, hopelessness, psychosomatic illnesses, etc. Some victims develop Stockholm Syndrome and seek to protect and help those who cause all of this for them.

5. Dissociation. Dissociation is an automatic response of our psyche to insurmountable stress, for example, the product of systematic aggression. We escape from where something unbearable is happening to us, and we feel that we are in one place, while our body is in another place. This can also happen from an emotional point of view, and there we feel estranged from life and emotions, there may be amnesia about what happened. This defence measure works temporarily, but it brings with it other symptoms. For example anxiety, low self-esteem, somatization, depression, chronic pain, addictions, self-mutilation, suicidal ideation and acts, among others. Unfortunately, many times the victim believes that these symptoms are the cause of the problem.

How To Make A Narcissist Miserable: 13 Extremely Effective …

6. Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome. Something extremely characteristic of the victims of a narcissist is suffering from post-traumatic stress symptoms. Simply put, this is about reliving the abuse, and the body and mind respond as if they are experiencing it again. The same emotions, and the same physical reaction.

This also involves several other symptoms: numbness of the fingers and lips. Places, sounds, foods, etc., that remind of the abuser are avoided. There is memory loss, the need to isolate oneself after the abuse. Inability to feel joy, confidence and hope in the future, and you fear that you will never be able to feel them again.

 Insomnia from fatigue and night terrors. Anxiety, disturbing thoughts, feelings of vulnerability and loneliness. Obsessive ideas in which the narcissist is seen suffering accidents or being murdered, causing guilt. Tendency to always be on the defensive, and overreact to the slightest stimulus. And the worst thing is that many times the victims realize that before meeting the narcissist, things were different. This also causes very profound damage.

Daffodil modes of aggression – how to make a narcissist miserable

Once we know the symptoms that can show us that we are being victims of abuse, we must know that apart from systematic lies and breach of trust, there are three very sophisticated aggression “techniques” that a daffodil uses.

Devaluation: consists of making malicious, disqualifying or humiliating comments, in private or in a way that no one else hears. It can make you understand that you are the worst of the worst, with a simple phrase: “You are very careless, that’s why your son got injured.” Or attack your self-esteem: “you gained weight, and you have more grey hair, you have to take care of yourself, I’m telling you for your good.” It is never for one’s good, sadly.

Triangulation:

consists of the use of a third party to destabilize us. For example, through comparing ourselves with others, convincing ourselves that our friends or family think badly of us or are against us, etc. They can also speak ill of us to third parties. The most common forms of triangulation are: saying that a third party (a friend, colleague, etc.) has flirted with you. In this way, you cause jealousy and insecurity in your partner, who will try harder to satisfy the narcissist, so as not to be replaced. 

Narcissists Hate Seeing You Happy – how to make a narcissist miserable

Furthermore, it creates an illusion of desirability and fosters rivalry, which also feeds the narcissist. This does not happen in a healthy relationship. Another way is to force the couple to have the same opinion as him, even going as far as bullying for it. In this way, you overwhelm the integrity and dignity of the other person. 

For this, it uses third parties, to whom only one version of the events has been told. Healthy couples do not need to bring in a third party to resolve their differences. A third way is to antagonize people with each other, due to narcissists. This is achieved by speaking ill of the other behind his back, to get other people to support him blindly, in his role as victim. 

This he achieves, isolating people, and becoming the valid interlocutor between them, so that all communication goes through him, thereby managing to manipulate everyone involved. Finally, another modality appears when the narcissist wishes to end a relationship: he tells others that his relationship is ending, putting himself again as a victim. Many times, one of his confidants becomes his next victim.

Gaslighting: how to make a narcissist miserable

This is a brutal “technique” of manipulation and erosion of the sense of identity. It consists of showing the other incomplete or false information so that they doubt their memory, their senses, and ultimately, their sanity. It can consist of denying real things that have happened, even creating and manipulating situations to disorient the other. The name comes from the play “ Gas Light ”, where a man tries to convince his wife that he is crazy, by disorienting her in this way. Some examples:

Hide things from the other, or move them from the place, to then say: “but if you put it there.” Later, he accuses the other person of having a bad memory. “You always forget where you put your keys, why am I going to trust what you tell me now?”

You can change dates without warning and then tell the other that you got it wrong. Also, deny what you said or promised even minutes before, and even deny facts in front of people who cannot corroborate them. Or claim false facts. so that the other is doubted. 

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How to Make a Narcissist Miserable 14 Things They Hate 2022

To this many times, manipulation of the worst kind is added, telling the other person that he believes more in what others say than in his word, pretending to feel betrayed and hurt.

Or, manipulate by saying: “Didn’t you see the face they made when you talked about X topic? I say this because I love you, please don’t make a fool of yourself again. “

According to Dr Robin Stern in Psychology, if you are always apologizing to your partner, boss or friend, if you sometimes wonder if you don’t have stress or a nervous illness, if you have to justify some behaviours of your partner to your family, if a Despite not having anything to complain about in life, you feel with a diffuse sense of anguish and sadness, if it is difficult for you to make decisions, and if you live in fear of having a bad evaluation at work despite giving your best, then it would be advisable to verify if you are not being the victim of a narcissist at home or work.

How to deal with a “daffodil” (or lessen its influence)

The objective of this article is to know in detail the narcissistic disorder, but also to look for a way to solve the problems that a relationship with a person in these conditions can bring us and that is why I give you these recommendations. 

In general, specialists strongly recommend zero contact. That is, do not call him, do not answer messages, do not look for them, do not respond to any of his actions. Ideally change phone, email, and block you on social networks. Many times, it is inevitable to deal with a daffodil day after day, either because it is part of our family, or perhaps it is in our work environment as a boss or colleague. Here the strategies to use are two: minimal contact, and the grey stone method.

Minimal contact: how to make a narcissist miserable

as its name implies, it consists of avoiding direct contact with the narcissist, be it in person, by phone or by other means. For example, communicating by email, and dealing with writing – ideally with copying to others to have a backup of what is happening. It also means avoiding contact alone. All this also serves to document any anomalous situation, to be able to legally prove what is happening. In this way, the damage that the narcissist produces in our life is not eliminated, but it is minimized.

Graystone – how to make a narcissist miserable

method: a “daffodil”, needs to be supplied with emotions and creates dramatic situations, they seek encouragement in manipulation and deception, to rile someone up, satisfy their need for drama. This method consists of becoming a “greystone”, becoming the most boring person we can, for them. Without responding to provocations or insults. Ensuring that everything we say is minimal, neutral. Without telling him anything flashy at all about our lives. Nothing that contains any vivid emotion, no worries we have, or things that matter to us. 

Talk about everyday things, about the weather. In this way, we will cease to be a “supply” for the needs of your voracious ego. This is certainly not easy, because when faced with the “greystone”, the narcissist will undoubtedly seek to make us react. It will provoke us. He will insult us. It will say the worst of us.

 Here, the “greystone” must accept them, in a grey and neutral way. It is very difficult and requires a lot of self-discipline, but it will make the narcissist bored and start looking for other victims. These problems are very difficult to treat, and if we seek

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professional help, it is also necessary to be careful when choosing, because it must necessarily be a specialist in these sociopathic disorders

Otherwise, the “daffodil” can wrap you in its manipulative net, completely nullifying the help we can receive. In that sense, it is also important to have an unconditional support network that is aware of these things, and that can, at least, help us “breathe” and rest a little from an already suffocating situation.

Finally, I recommend this blog (if you speak English, this one too ), as it is very useful to have detection and guidance tools regarding this harmful disorder. There is also a group on Facebook, dedicated to the mutual support of victims of narcissists. And all that remains for me is to send all my solidarity and love to those who are victims of this situation.

how to make a narcissist miserable

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